The Dachshund Down-low

Mummy has let me take her over blog today, she says I’m mature enough to use her laptop now that I’ve turned 1.

Because it’s been nearly a year since my humans bought me home and so many people always stop and ask us what it’s like having me, she’s told me to give you guys what she calls ‘The Dachshund Down-low.’ Basically, all the naughty things I get up to behind closed doors. So for those of you who may be thinking of getting a Miniature Sausage Dog like me, then you may not want to keep reading!

1.Β For such a small dog, we have one hell of a bark on us. You’ll hear us before you see us that’s for sure!Β 

2. Your bed is now my bed and let me tell you, these long bodies can reallyyyy stretch out

3. I like to leave mummy and daddy little surprises around the house. Surprise meaning poops when their not looking

4. My favourite chews stink to high heaven. Who even knew that pizzles, aka bulls penis, was so yummy? I once stayed at my girlfriends house and her mum took us to a really posh restaurant and whipped one of these bad boys out – she had absolutely no idea what they were because my humans didn’t think to tell her!

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5. Personal space is no longer a thing, even bath time you have company

6. When you ride up front and make daddy sit in the back, he knows the pecking order in this family

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7. When you see your humans kiss you gotta get involved too

8. Every human who enters the house definitely needs their face cleaned

9. When you know to keep your stinky treats on the blanket but persist on bringing it onto their new sofa

10. Rain. I’m not walking. Nope. I’ll just sit right here thank you.

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11. You have a better social life than your humans

12. When 50+ of us sausages take over the local parks/beaches they don’t know what they’re in for

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13. You have your own Instagram page with more followers than your humans

14. Cause you’re small you get away with more. I even get my own handbag to be carried around in and when they’re not looking I climb on to the tablesΒ 

15. You have a bigger wardrobe than your humans. I had 2 Barbour jackets before daddy even got one!

16. No toy lasts longer than 2 minutes and then they ‘go to hospital’ aka, the bin

17. No walk is complete without hearing people ‘ohh and ahh’ over you with the odd ‘look there’s a sausage dog’ thrown in

18. When you’re just too cute so people stop and ask to take photos of you. Where’s my modelling career at?!

19. When you ignore all dogs in the park but as soon as you spot a fellow sausage you’re gone

20. People think we don’t need much exercise, but boy can we walk

21. These lil legs can outrun my humans. I’d give Mo Farah a run for his money

22. Must dig at the bed sheet a thousand times before bedtime

23. Stubborn is my middle name

24. If there’s a blanket in sight then it has my name on it. I’ll either chew a hole in it or burrow so watch where you sit!

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25. But most importantly, I bring a smile to my humans faces every single day and they wouldn’t change a thing about me…

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